


Burdened Fellings

by KtheG



Series: Two Celestial's and a Human [3]
Category: Warrior Nun (TV)
Genre: F/F, OT3, Soft Girlfriends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-27
Updated: 2020-08-27
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:14:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26135587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KtheG/pseuds/KtheG
Summary: what if Ava stayed at Cat's Cradle just a little bit longer? what if Lilith and Beatrice were the ones destined to help bear the burden of the Halo?
Relationships: Sister Lilith/Sister Beatrice/Ava Silva
Series: Two Celestial's and a Human [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1872385
Comments: 5
Kudos: 63





	Burdened Fellings

**Author's Note:**

> So this is a riff on something inspired by the discord server. Those who know, know. I seem to like these three together quiet a bit, something about enemies to lovers with a translator?

When the Sister’s had first taken Ava from ArqTech, Lilith was unsure of the goal. She was completely inept at all things life, she had taken the Halo from her, stole the legacy Lilith was raised for, and yet, Lilith couldn’t help but feel drawn to the girl. Maybe it was the fact that Lilith could relate to feeling confined for her whole childhood, not a step out of line lest she suffer the wrath of her mothers. Maybe that was the force that had Lilith volunteering to watch over Ava with Beatrice (aside from the added perk of alone time with her girlfriend (are they still even together after all the shit she pulled?) to talk about the last couple of ~~days~~ weeks. Lilith _needed_ to talk to Beatrice. Bea was the only person who could possibly know the anguish she’s feeling at the loss of Shannon and the loss of her chance to please her mother’s. It was what had brought them together in the first place, the drive to not want to be the family disappointment.

Their first years together were spent in silent friendship, with few words exchanged verbally but so much said in the change of body language and the forms of shared martial arts. Slowly but surely, truths had been verbalized, a quiet _I’m gay and that’s why my parents sent me away_ or an angry _They loved Delilah more, she was the stronger of the two of us._ Lilith and Beatrice had connected, and soon they were the only person the other would seek out. When Lilith struggled through a sword form and was getting frustrated, Bea was there to walk her through it without getting harsh. When Bea struggled to remember she was loved, Lilith was there to remind her of all the small things. So when Shannon got the Halo and Lilith didn’t, Beatrice was there to comfort her, remind her that she isn’t a failure. But things shifted. Lilith was more withdrawn, and their friendship morphed into sharp accusations in the back gardens until Lilith let slip too many truths. _I’m in love with you and I thought you only liked me because of the image I would bring to you and to your parents. I’m scared that you won’t love me back because I don’t have the Halo, that I’m not good enough._

Beatrice had gone silent, and Lilith was afraid she leapt across an invisible boundary, but all Beatrice had done was lean in and kiss her. All Lilith heard in response was a small _I love you too, you idiot._ And that was that. Things weren’t fixed overnight, and there were days when Lilith still struggled with what her parents would think of her, and occasionally Bea would push too far in an attempt to help her girlfriend verbalize her feelings, but eventually, things mellowed out. In the 18 months that Shannon had had the Halo, and Lilith no longer felt the bitter resentment that she first did. But when Shannon died and the Halo had gone to a nobody? Someone who wasn’t even a believer? _Lilith seethed for days and there was nothing Beatrice could do._

Lilith wouldn’t accept her touch, her words, her support. Beatrice was forced to the sidelines to watch as her girlfriend fell back into old habits of self-hatred and anger. Lilith threw herself into every mission in those next few days, she vowed to find Ava and bring her back, if only so Lilith could claim her rightful spot as the Halo Bearer. But when they got to ArqTech and saw Ava experiencing life for the first time, Lilith felt something in her gut twist. She knew, _she knew_ , in that moment that she would never have been accepted by the Halo. So when Beatrice tranq’ed Ava, Lilith was the one to catch her, to volunteer to collect stats and data on the Halo in Ava with Beatrice. It was the first time they would share space alone since Shannon died, and Lilith was determined to make the most of it.

“Bea…” Lilith didn’t know where to start, but she had to let Beatrice know how sorry she was. How she was driven mad by expectations and thoughts of the goddamned legacy of her family.

“I know, Lil. I know. But that doesn’t excuse your behavior.”

Lilith let out a sigh and before she could respond, Ava was gasping awake and sending out shock waves that knocked them all back into the walls of Cat’s Cradle. Having someone so connected to their emotions was new for Lilith, but she couldn’t help but be drawn to Ava. It was like she wanted to know everything there was to know about the girl, to hear it from her instead of from a file like Mother Superion had suggested. And Lilith knew Beatrice felt the same, could see it in her girlfriend’s eyes as they watched over the new Halo Bearer.

“Do you feel complete… with her here?” Lilith dared to ask, afraid of the answer, but Beatrice just turned and gave Lilith the softest look.

“I want to protect her at all costs, Lilith.”

That’s why it hurt Lilith so much to trick Ava into using the Halo’s powers. And then to stand outside Mother Superion’s office as she accused the girl of killing herself. Lilith couldn’t take it any longer. She turned and went to find Beatrice, knowing that Bea could offer the necessary support better than she could. Beatrice, as if sensing a problem, was turning the corner at a dead sprint before Lilith could even take two steps away from the door. There were tears in Lilith’s eyes and she and Beatrice listened to the berating Ava was getting. It reminded them both of what they had gone through as children, of the reasons they bonded so well together. There was no choice but to interrupt, so Lilith nudged her girlfriend towards the door and into the room, effectively giving Ava a person to cry to. She was shocked when Ava reached out a hand and aimed it in her direction, effectively tying the three of them together in this moment of hurt.

Lilith knew Ava’s fears personally. She knew how much it would hurt, but she also knew how good Beatrice was at healing, at listening and comforting. Ava would feel safe with Beatrice until Lilith could learn to make Ava feel safe. So when the two of them found Ava deep in the halls of Cat’s Cradle that night before dinner, Lilith had to apologize.

“I’m so sorry Ava. I never should have played your fears, your emotions like that. It was wrong and I know I can’t make it up to you, but I will try.” She placed an awkward hand on Ava’s shoulder while her other hand held Bea’s. She listened as Beatrice explained the importance of pain in their lives, of how it brought them together, created a family of sorts. But how having people to share your fears with, to help shoulder the burden would make it easier to live life to the fullest. They could start their own family, the tree of them. Beatrice explained how support worked, how they knew it was necessary to support each other, but more importantly, how they would work as a team, the three of them, to bear the burden of the Halo with Ava.

Lilith spoke quietly of how complete they felt together, how she and Beatrice knew something was missing but when they found Ava, they felt whole for the first time. Ava explained how she felt drawn to them, how she wanted to know them. Beatrice was there with stories of experiences shared by the previous Warrior Nuns. How it would take more than one person, and how grateful it was that it could be her and Lilith and Ava, working together.

“But it’s not like a soulmate thing?” Ava asked one night, from her spot in between the two of them at dinner. Beatrice let out a laugh and Lilith couldn’t help but shake her head in response.

“No Ava, it’s more like. It’s hard to explain, but the Halo can almost sense your feelings? It is a sentient technology that we don’t understand, but it somehow knows. And so it takes what is there and helps you connect the dots faster, in a way.” That’s the best explanation she and Beatrice had come up with for why the Halo knew who to share the burden with. There was no real explanation in any of their readings. And Mary couldn’t explain why she felt so complete with Shannon, just that she did.

That’s why it stung so much when Ava left. Lilith still had Beatrice, but it wasn’t enough anymore, so when Cardinal Duretti came to her and preyed on her greatest weakness, her desire to please her parents, she took it, despite knowing how much it would destroy Beatrice and ultimately Ava. She still can’t explain it, but it somehow felt _right and wrong at the same time._ But tracking down Ava hurt her too. Lilith felt torn in two when she left Beatrice and ArqTech and attempted to dig the Halo out of Ava’s back. She couldn’t explain why she did it, but it broke her soul. It made jumping in front of the Tarask that much easier, and she would do it again in a heartbeat to protect this girl she didn’t even _really_ know. Sure she knew a lot about Ava, but she wanted to know, knew there was more to learn.

Hell was… it was Hell. But it was there that Lilith confronted her fears, her desires to dig, and dig, and _dig_ at people in order to feel something other than the disappointment of her mothers. She learned who she would’ve been if she had received the Halo, and she felt blessed to have died protecting it. But she also felt all the pain and heartbreak in the world. The pain of being trapped in your own body, unable to defend yourself, unable to provide even the basics for yourself. She learned the _fear_ that came from having to depend on others, and she could relate to Ava.

And yet, while she was in Hell, it was almost as if she was closer to Beatrice and Ava than ever before. She could feel their presence with her, keeping her sane throughout the torture. She knew that the two were struggling with her death, but Lilith knew that it was necessary. An explanation escaped her mind, but she knew it would make them stronger in the fight against Evil, whatever that meant. So when she reappeared at Cat’s Cradle, realizing they thought she was dead? Lilith was absolutely gutted. She know how much it hurt to lose someone special (she had lost her sister after all ) but she also knew that dying to protect the Halo was more important. She felt their pull, they had been here recently but had left, and the feelings of the cathedral were all wrong. Lilith just wanted to be closer to her girls, so she let whatever had brought her back from Hell taker her to them. She came to leaning against a door in ArqTech, pushed the handle down, met Ava’s eyes, managed a whisper of her name, and collapsed, fully unconscious.

Waking up alive after death was disorienting. All she really felt was the connection of her girls ( _her girls? Since when??_ ) standing over her, looking after her, protecting her, and yet there was some sort of distance between the three of them. There was no hiding how _close_ they wanted to be with each other. That night, Beatrice held one of Lilith’s hands while Ava held the other, soothing her every time she moved in her sleep; doing everything to help her the way she had helped them. It was months before the three of them were able to move forward together. They had to fight Evil Adrial, they had all almost died, they all bore new scars, but those months spent together? Fighting side by side? Those were some of the best, most free months of Lilith’s life.

Ava had come to them a few weeks after they defeated Adriel, shaking like a leaf, expressing her love for them. Together, Beatrice and Lilith wrapped her in their arms, calmed her racing heart, and quietly listed everything about Ava that they loved. Ava wasn’t really expecting them to love her back, but here they were, Lilith and Beatrice looking down at her with love in their eyes.

“Can I do something, Ava? Do you trust me, us?” Lilith asked, an intent look on her face.

There was no hesitation when Ava nodded yes. Ava trusted them, trusted Lilith and Beatrice with her life. Soon, there were lips on her own, _Lilith was kissing her._ She wrapped her arms around Lilith’s back, pulling her closer, wanting more, but before it could go further, Lilith pulled back with a love struck smile on her face. Ava wanted to chase after her, but Beatrice put a hand on her shoulder, used Ava’s unbalanced daze to guide her lips to Ava’s, pressing a chaste kiss against her lips. This kiss was slow, full of emotion. Beatrice refused to use words to explain herself. By the time they were done, Ava thought she must have a full body blush and managed to ask a quiet “you love me?”

Lilith and Beatrice could only laugh at her question, and together, hands held, responded with a “yes, Ava, we love _you._ ”


End file.
